Jesus Salad

There is a salad so miraculously delightful that the entire girl’s lacrosse team has taken to calling it “Jesus Salad”. It is of Asian origin, containing broccoli slaw, various nuts and dry ramen noodles.  Luckily, my mother holds the recipe and has been making it for team dinners, barbecues, etc. for as long as I can remember. Not so luckily, I have not been able to enjoy Jesus Salad to its full potential ever since the summer of 2004.

On one fateful night, otherwise known as the last day of school, there was an extravagant neighborhood party with burgers, hot dogs, and yes, Jesus Salad. As I indulged in the food before me, I wondered what the arriving summer would bring. The soiree was complete with volleyball nets, a zip line, and water guns. When I finally returned home, my belly was full of wonderful food and my school alarm clock was officially turned off for the season. I slept easy enough until the clock struck midnight and my lovely dreams were interrupted by an outbreak of retching. This continued every hour until there was nothing left in my hollow stomach to expel. After my last purge, I said a final goodbye to the salad as I would not be enjoying its tasty splendor anytime soon. Although I suspect the hamburger of this wickedness, I was never able to appreciate the sweet savor of Jesus Salad ever again.  

The Sea of Monsters: A Review

The only award this movie would ever be capable of receiving would be the worst book-to-film adaptation to date. It is almost astounding how poorly the stories Odyssey-like plot was conveyed, as the movie spliced out the most important and characteristic events. It soon becomes apparent that the filmmakers merely didn't have the time, as they were too busy scrambling to fit in the crucial details they failed to include in the first movie. Nothing pairs a mediocre plot quite like weak characters. The dynamic characterization Rick Riordan employs in his book is reduced to a group of sarcastic teenagers more interested in cracking a “witty” comeback than saving the world. 

As if the poor casting wasn't enough, the actors were forced to spit out clichés about the importance of friendship, believing in one’s self, and thinking outside of the box (barf). Moreover, the filmmakers quite simply took a giant shit on the depth of Greek mythology expressed in the book that gives the story cleverness and even educational purpose. To sum it up, every single aspect of Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters was watered down to its weakest form. If you had any hope for the series after watching The Lightning Thief, it was brutally obliterated in the first five minutes of the sequel. What a waste of Logan Lerman. 

Danger: the possibility of suffering harm or injury. What frightens us the most is the uncertainty that its presence brings. However, a sound mind can overcome these impulses of fear to make the best of a dangerous situation.

I put this theory to the test one summer at my family’s lake house. I had woken up before the others and rather than sit around waiting for my dad to rise and make his famous French toast, I decided to wander down to the dock to admire the morning breeze and rippling waves.

The porch swing swayed along with the dock every time a boat passed. As I approached the beckoning seat my foot caught the loop of a hose and I went stumbling off the side as time seemed to stand still. I knew what was awaiting me at the end of my fall.

My back struck the metal boat lift and my body turned to stone. I began to panic as my limbs refused to obey my desperate commands. My thoughts began to cloud as the immediate danger plagued my every thought. That’s when it clicked; a situation is only as dangerous as you allow it to be. With a clearer mind, I rolled onto the lift to realize that, although my back would be heavily bruised, my temporary paralysis was merely the effect of shock. 

After managing to pull myself back onto the dock, I stretched out on the wood floor, warm from the sun’s influence. That day I discovered that a logical mind can overcome immediate danger more readily than a weapon or hero ever could.